Aging Parents

More and more young people are part of this so-called "Sandwich generation". This is the generation that is sandwiched between taking care of parents and young children. It is not uncommon to have to juggle your daughter's dance practice with your mother's doctor's appointments. Well, I have arrived. I knew that this day would come for me. You see, I was born when my mother was 44 years old. That doesn't sound quite so alarming now, but imagine in the late seventies when all of my friends parents' were in their late twenties and my parents were both balding and had gray hair in their early fifties. They started young then. My friend's parents didn't call my parents by their first names as was usually customary; it was "Mr. and Mrs. Griffin"

Anyhow, I am so incredibly blessed to have a mother that is in relatively good health at 81 years old. She looks good too and I so hope that I get those genes. But, as she gets older, I have found that I have to ask her questions repeatedly to decipher if she understands what has been communicated. I have found that my once "take no nonsense" mother has become passive and it is best to call physician offices, credit card companies and the like, on her behalf. I find myself memorizing her incredibly long medication list & schedule all the while keeping track of my kid's last influenza vaccine, dental appointment and current event assignment. It's a daunting task.

Just as employers are trying to be more sympathetic to parents of young children, I feel like there needs to be more focus on responsibilities in regard to older parents. Just as adequate child care is a concern for working parents, so is advocacy for our parents. It takes time to schedule and coordinate doctor visits for both the kids and the parents.

With parents living longer comes the incredible amounts of prescription medicine that must be taken. My mother has bottles upon bottles of pills lined up on her chest of prayers. They are to be taken upon waking on an empty stomach, only with meals, once a day, twice a day, as needed and at bedtime. It's difficult for me to keep straight and I have youth on my side! There has to be someone to provide that check and balance.

I've adopted a new way of thinking. I had been resistant to my mother getting older because I associated her aging with her ultimate death. To help me cope and so that I am more accepting and patient, I think of my mother now as my third baby. I have three: ages 4, 6, and 81.... and I wouldn't have it any other way. Until Next Time.... Embrace & Celebrate Longevity

Note: Comparing my mother to a baby is not meant to be disrespectful or imply that she is incapable of taking care of herself. It is rather an expression of my love for her and my willingness to protect and provide for her; just as I do for my children.

Anonymous In BlogSphere?

It has been so long since I have posted. I have been wondering how to make my blog have more focus and still remain anonymous. Why do I want to remain anonymous? Probably because my blog has no focus! No, seriously, I don't want to post pictures of myself or my kids. I'm no selling any goods or claiming to be an expert at anything. I'm just shedding layers and writing. There is a danger in identifying yourself. Being anonymous allows me to be free.

Ok, so where am I these days: Still direction less. I have started the pre requisites for nursing school and I have two class down and I am currently taking two classes. This is really difficult to do when working full time and having a family, but I'm plugging away. Work: I am still with HP and on a project that I detest with a manager that I will never see and only talk to on a bi-monthly conference call. I wonder how many other people, one day, realize at 36 that they messed up in their career choice? It's particularly daunting.

I haven't figured out how, when I get in, I am going to go to nursing school. Am I going to quit my job? How are we going to make it without my salary? Could we make it for 1.5 years without my salary? These are very important questions that I am not considering the answer to at the moment. Right now, I am just trusting and believing that I have found a way to career satisfaction and happiness and I'm going for it!

Too old for a career change? Too invested? Too scared?

If you read my previous post, you are aware of what is going on at my place of employment. What I didn't add is that I am not happy about my current assignment which has led me to realize that it is time for me to reevaluate my career choice.

I have a bachelor's degree in computer science and a master's degree in computer engineering. Sound impressive? Well, I have no desire to continue in either field. This is not because of the economy where IT jobs are being outsourced to the best shore. Nor is it because IT wages are being decreased and the hot technology keeps changes. It is because it brings me no joy! I actually hate programming and consulting. I probably always have; but salary cuts and work force reductions have made me realize just how much I don't like what I do. With each round of cuts, I have, unknown to my husband and mother, been praying that I am on the hit list. Now, is this financially responsible? No! Does it make sense to wish for a small severance package when you have no plan? No! But does it makes sense to dread going to work each day and feeling under appreciated and stuck? NO!

I took a leap of faith and applied to Nursing school. Yes, nursing school. I want to help people and I want a career that cannot be off-shored. I want to feel like I have touched somebody and made a difference. Creating an application for an engineering quality management system (my current project) doesn't make one bit of difference in any one's life and my efforts are recognized by my company.

When are you too old to follow your heart? When is having two degrees in another discipline a deterrent for following your dreams? When is too scary to take that leap? I don't know how I will make this work financially or time-wise, but I will not be in this same place two years from now wishing that I have done something in 2009 when I first had the notion. What's your leap of faith about?

Been away for a while...... EDS kicks you when you are down

I've been away for a while and so much has changed. Our country has a new president (GO OBAMA!!!) and is in the midst of an economic tsunami. Meanwhile, I have been a ball of stress:
I am working for EDS which was acquired by HP. Since my last post, I have endured months of work force reductions wondering if each Friday or payday will be my last. I have watched valuable team members being escorted out with only a few hours notice. In response, I cleaned my desk of all personal effects so that when the time comes, I am able to turn over my laptop and make a quick, emotionless exit. What a way to work.

I was reorganized to a manager in another state that I will undoubtedly never see and who can not speak to my qualifications or is familiar with my skillset area.

I was forced to choose whether to work in a dedicated office space or from home where I am allowed to come into the office for first come, first served "hotel cubes". In my dedicated environment (which I chose), I will have to, at some point in the future, contend with half the space as cubes are redesigned to eliminate any privacy which in someone's convulated mind, is supposed to promote productivity. Try coding with someone next to you smacking on gum or on a conference call!

And for the kicker: It was announced that all employees (HP and EDS) will endure a 5% pay decrease. OK. I took that in stride. I figure that means that more jobs will be saved. I can deal with that. At least I have a job. THEN....... I receive an email on Friday, March 13 at 5:05PM:
The email states that for the month of April, only the pre-acquisition EDS employees will take an additional 10% pay cut. Hmmmm, let me see: This message comes out after most people have left the office for the weekend. Also, only the EDS employees (US & Puerto Rico) are taking this 15% hit for the month of April. What the heck is going on?

Since this is not a confidential memo, I can quote this part of the message: "While we have no plans for an additional base salary reduction, we will continue to closely monitor the performance of our business and make further adjustments as required in the coming months."

So, my questions are these: In the wake of rising energy and food prices, how am I supposed to live? How can I live financially responsible, when my salary appears to be variable? Should my productivity decrease by 15% as well?

Bottom line: They got you by the (pardon me) balls! There are hardly any IT jobs to be found. Where are you going to go? If you do leave, you forgo your severance package that more than likely is ultimately coming. Also, if you find a new job, you run the risk of "last in, first out" when that company's numbers hit the skids. I have never been so discouraged. I can't even begin to explain the changes to the 401K matches and pension plan. It's too much to handle in one posting.

Can anybody out there hear me?