Am I giving them what they need to be successful students?

I write this in exasperation!  I spent my day off helping/doing homework with my third and fifth graders.  Of course, they would have rather spent the entire day "plugged in".  By that, I mean sitting on the couch, in the family room, with the I Pad on their laps, the TV going and the laptop nearby with the game of Minecraft going.  I don't allow this normally during the week, but if there is no school, this is exactly the happenings in my family room.  When I look in there, I swear that I can the brain cells being sucked right out of their ears!   Because of this, we have the "no power button" rule: "If you went to school today and the day of the week is not equal to Friday, do not dare touch anything (with the exception of the microwave) that has a power button".

In fact, this "no power button rule" was put into effect for my male, fifth-grade, child.  He has been unreasonable since he was in pre-kindergarten.  There is no balance with this guy.  If there was any form of entertainment, he was never obliged to defer to homework or studying of any kind.  Because of him, my daughter suffers.  She studies with no complain, even doing extra just because.  She is the first to try and get her homework done and out of the way.  She makes a point of trying to understand and hates to get anything wrong.  She reminds me of myself academically.  She is a self starter and a rule follower.  I see a mathematician in the making!!  Be still my heart.  But, back to my boy.

I realized during the first social studies exam prep of the fifth grade, that my kid did not know how to study.  Totally my fault!!! How can you just stare at and reread a "study guide" and expect to pass the test?  I pulled out my laptop and we made a real study sheet.  This was the old fashioned, fold the paper in half, write the definitions on the right side and the vocabulary words on the left.  Well, it was updated and created on a laptop, but you get the idea.  I told my kid, "the way you study for an exam, is to test yourself first.  If you can pass your exam, you will surely pass the teacher's."  How did my kid get this far and not know this?  My fault.  Then, I wondered who gave me this example?  Was it my parents?  I swear, I have not one memory of my parents even helping me or telling me to study.  They even admit to not having to help me.  Maybe it was God blessing them as I was the fifth and last kid.  If I had two kids like my son, I don't know how I would do it.  Anyway, my son passed that test with a B.  The questions we missed, we had not put on our study sheet.

My son is surely the kid that you have to stay on top of.  There are tears (mostly his) each time, we sit to study or do homework.  They are usually of frustration , but mostly because he would rather be doing something else.  I have to tell myself not to lose it because, hell, I'd rather be doing something else to.  He becomes surly and rude and it fuels my anger.  Tonight, however, I never yelled and I never let it get to me.  I, however, told him that if he would let me help him, he'd surely get it.  Tonight, our battle was with math and with science.    I keep telling him that you must have the foundation.  If your house is built on a shaky foundation, it will surely crumble.  For example, all your rounding problems are incorrect, when you don't know place values.  You can't round 4.73 to the nearest tenth, when you think that the 3 is in the tenth place! This is how I taught him to remember: After the decimal point think of zeroes.  The first place is the tenth place because there is is one zero in ten.  The next place (second place) is the hundredth place because there are two zeroes in one hundred and so on.  Before the decimal point think of ones.   Where is the one in the number one?  In the first place before the decimal point.  This is the ones place.  The one in ten is in the second place before the decimal, this is the tens place and so on.  He got it!

I just realize that I have to make the sacrifice and work with my son a little more than my daughter.  It will give him the confidence to start using the tips and tricks that I give him, on his own.  I just need the patience and time.  Until next time.......