Today, I dropped my little girl at school and didn't see her walk in the door. Why? Because I was in the "loop". The loop is the evil, brain child of some mastermind who thinks that it is a good idea to have cars entering and existing a two lane semi-circle where precious little lives are being deposited (or picked up) with the precision of an automated rail system. NOT! It is a trap where tempers flare, where one car that inches forward in the drop off lane instead of exiting into the flow lane can cause a three vehicle pile up of minivans. The loop is why I did not see my nine year old walk into school this morning.
I would love to stay parked curbside and watch my little girl enter the building. But no! You must deposit your child and immediately pull into the flow lane to exit. Don't you dare wait too long because there will be an angry beast with coffee mug in hand blowing at you to exit so that they can take your spot. Your delay can cause of gridlock of massive proportions because the cars behind you won't be able to exit as the flow lane is at a standstill because, dare I say, someone park in front of you to drop their kid off. No, parking in front of me is too far from the door. It's a loop for goodness sake. Think semi-circle;
The computer scientist in me can think of an algorithm where everyone gets to drop off their kid, wait to see them enter and pull off without horn honking and cursing. The problem is that we will never pull it off without the cars of the future that drive themselves. Why? Because we drive with emotion: not wanting to be late has us pulling off before the door slams. The argument that we had with our spouse in the morning causes us to drive just a little more aggressively and have little patience for the speed limit obeying car in front of us. Emotion made me a tad bit paranoid when I didn't see the little girl enter the building.
Not seeing her enter the building made me contemplate causing complete havoc and actually completing my circular drive and reentering the loop. Not wanting to hit another car made me keep going. Still, I glanced back in the rearview mirror hoping to get a glance of her silver coat but the SUV following too closely prevented that view. A little panic had me make a mental note of her Justice polka dot shirt with the "C" on it and the gray jogging pants as I fought the image of the scary man grabbing her before she could make it in the door. I fought these crazy thoughts as I drove straight instead of making the left turn toward the office, planning to circle back to the school. I actually turned back toward the school as I looked in the back seat for a forgotten lunch or book to give me a excuse to go inside the school to calm my fears. There was no such excuse and I fought my rising panic and the horrible images of an abducted child as I made my way to work. I called myself foolish and said a silent prayer that my thoughts were indeed ridiculous and not mother's instinct. I told myself that I knew that she had made it inside repeatedly like a mantra. Even still I calculated the nine hours until I would pick her up. I fought the scenario that played with too much detail in my head where I would go to pick her up and someone would tell me that she had been absent. I fought the urge to text her teacher (he's a friend) with some made up story about how I needed to check on her. I fought the demons of imagination and aftermath of too many scary movies all day. I even lamented that if I had gotten her the much asked for IPhone that I wouldn't be going through all the emotions and crazy! And so it continued, all day, until I left work at 5:30 heading to pick up my baby. Even as I pulled into the evil loop, I had one last thought of hope that my child was in school and not...... well, just not. I walked into the school building, said hello to a few parents and looked through the glass door of the media center. And there my little, disinterested child gave me a "what took you so long?" look and I have never been so happy to see her! Tomorrow morning, I'm parking in the lot and walking her to the door. So long "loop"!
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